No Absolutes - The Life of the Artist

I have some news. I've been avoiding posting this news because I didn't want to overshadow Evolution Theatre's production of Arabian Night. However, since that show is going into it's second week and the wonderful reviews are now pouring in (more on that soon!), I figured it might be a good time to make my announcement. I've finally been cast, after a year of nothing, in a professional theatrical production! Are you doing a happy dance for me? I know I did.

The play is called Shining City. It's directed by John P Kelly (who was just recently nominated for a Capital Critic's Circle Award) and will be taking place at the Arts Court Theatre from November 17 to 28.

On its own, this is a pretty big deal for me, but this is only a preface to what I want to talk about here.

You see, I was also asked by the production company to do the publicity work for the show (which reminds me, I should probably update the website...). Though I find the part I will be playing to be incredibly challenging, it is a relatively small role and I would therefore have the time to dedicate to this side venture. Besides, who would be better at promoting a show than someone who has a vested interest in it's success?

A while back, I had decided that I no longer wanted to handle marketing a show I was performing in. I found it to quite often be a headache and a hassle. I knew when reviewers were in the audience and, when ticket sales were low, I took it to mean I was not doing a good job. This in turn was awkward and affected my work as a performer.

Recently, however, I've come to realize that it's my own insecurity and not my ability to do my work that's the problem. I didn't believe in myself as an actor (and, in the case of Fringe, as a writer) enough. If I didn't fully believe that people should see me in a show, why should I be surprised when they don't?

It was also a form of laziness on my part or, better yet, a sense of entitlement; the 'I just want to be an actor' factor. To be perfectly honest, I don't want to 'just be an actor.' How boring is that? I want to be a creator, an innovator, an artist. I believe that a true artist is one who is well-rounded and well-versed in all aspects of his art. And yes, even the business side can be an art.

The best example I can think of involve the myriad of people I met on the Fringe Festival circuit. No one there does just one task. Everyone works their fingers to the absolute bone and then spends their nights chilling out, enjoying the fruits of their labour. It's beautiful. It's amazing. It's inspiring. It's exactly where I want to be.

My name is Nancy Kenny and I'm an artist.

Xie Xie, Beijing, Me Love You Long Time

I'm home. Was I really just in China? I've got the material evidence to prove it, but it was such a whirlwind adventure, it's almost hard to believe. The Coles Notes version of the trip:

We arrived after a thirteen hour flight in Executive Class (OMG, I was so spoiled!), met our tour guide at the airport and checked into the hotel. Neither my friend nor I had been able to sleep on the plane, even though our individual seats, located inside a semi-private pod, laid flat out into a bed. So after a quick tour of the hotel, we immediately crashed.

Our first morning in China, we had breakfast before heading off to Tienanmen Square and the (not-so) Forbidden City. Since we arrived during the National Holiday, it was kind of like trying to explore downtown Ottawa on Canada Day. After lunch, we were then herded off to the absolutely exquisite Summer Palace. We even got to take a Dragon Boat across the lake (not the kind of dragon boat you row, an actual boat with a dragon statue at the helm). We were absolutely exhausted at this point and told that we had a free evening that night. That said, we were given the option, if we wanted to pay a bit extra, to see a show... Even on vacation I can't miss out on seeing a play. My friend went back to the hotel and I went to see Chun Yi - The Legend of Kung Fu. The show was mostly in English (and has played in Vancouver if the giant lobby posters were any indication) and was very entertaining spectacle, though I tried desperately not to nod off due to pure exhaustion. It was a very simple story with lots of acrobatics, music and dance. I don't know if this was a more traditional form of Chinese theatre or the Mirvish form of Chinese theatre, but I did have fun. Plus, there was a little boy who sang with the voice of an angel. Don't ever hit puberty, kid.

On day two, after breakfast, we arrived at a Jade Factory in Beijing and I won a free pendant for answering a trivia question. Then we headed out to the Ming Tombs. The Sacred Way, a row of 36 statues set along the path towards the tomb was probably the most relaxing part of the trip. Then, after lunch, we were off to the GREAT WALL! My friend and I climbed up to the highest point of the North Pass, also known as Badaling. I was really proud of us and what I can only classify as the greatest hike ever. It was at this point that I was almost disappointed we were with a group because I would have loved to keep walking along the wall. We then went to a local tea house and got to try a variety of traditional Chinese teas (and spend way too much money to buy some of my own, but I think it was worth it) and checked out the Beijing National Stadium - at least from the outside. It looks phenomenal at night. In fact, most of downtown Beijing with it's crazy architecture and inclination towards light shows looks amazing at night.

Day three and we were off to the Temple of Heaven. In the park surrounding the Temple, people practiced Tai Chi, ballroom dancing, played cards and music. Though I was kind of templed out at this point, that was pretty cool and worth the vendor hassles (there are no panhandlers in China, at least not that I saw, because everyone seems to be trying to sell you something on the street). Then we had a brief stopover at a silk factory, learning how silk is made, before checking out the Pearl Market (where I got me two really nice knock off bags!). I was glad to have my friend with me, as I realized bargaining with the vendors was not my strong suit. What can I say? I want to be nice. Then we got a rickshaw tour of a Hutong and visited a local woman's home.

If that wasn't enough, we then went and saw what our guide called a "cultural show," the Golden Mask Dynasty. If I thought the Kung Fu show had spectacle, I hadn't seen nothing yet. Someone in our group asked how you would describe what we saw. All I could say was this: "It was an epic anime fairy tale that would only be created if the Cirque du Soleil had an illegitimate love-child with the National Ballet for the sole purpose of making Robert Lepage jealous." Seriously people, they had a flood ON STAGE. A real, live flood! I was in the third row and got back splash. It was awesome and I can forgive the absolutely atrocious English surtitles and complete lack of concrete plot just for that. After some Peking Duck with dinner, our tour was officially over, but my friend and I used our last free day to visit the Silk Market and the Beijing Zoo to see the Pandas. The zoo, unfortunately, just made us sad. The animals do not seem like they are well treated. Cages are too small, animals are often separated from each other (even the docile ones) and, even though it is CLEARLY indicated that people should not feed the animals, people throw any and everything into the pits. It was disgusting. If you're ever in Beijing, don't bother going to the zoo.

All in all though, I had an amazing trip and would probably go back again if the opportunity presented itself. Back in Ottawa, I've hit the ground running (literally, as I've started jogging again) and have a sense of joy and hopefulness about my life once again. I feel like anything is possible right now and I'm going to hang on to that feeling for as long as I can.

Now, what's this jet lag I keep hearing about?

Screw You Guys, I'm Going To China!

(ed. note - I hope no one thinks I'm being mean with this title, I'm just bastardizing a South Park quote because I think it's funny. It's funny, right? Right. Keep reading.) Va... ca... tion...?

What is this foreign work you speak of?

The last time I had a vacation, I was 16 years old and I went to Florida with my family (FYI Universal Studio kicked more ass than Disney, even though the Terminator ride broke down). Of course, you could claim that I went on a family vacation two years ago when my mom, my sister and I drove through the Rockies and ended up in lovely Nelson, BC, but that was more of a workaholic's vacation. I had my laptop with me and I distinctly remember spending an awful lot of time writing press releases for the Ottawa Fringe Festival and reworking drafts of a script. I also remember my mother often gently trying to persuade me (i.e. getting annoyed but trying not to show it in front of company) to get off the damn computer and come spend quality time outside, which I did... I sat on a deck with the Rocky Mountains rising above me and a lake spread out below me... and my laptop hugging my knees.

I'm sick. There is something definitely wrong with me. I'm addicted to work. Everything is work or becomes about work. Going to see a show is about work. Taking a new class to gain a new skill becomes "something I can put on a resume". About 95% of my friends are also my colleagues. I run Evolution Theatre with two such friends. We often say that we're just going to hang out, have lunch, watch a movie, or maybe plan a wedding... the discussion inevitably comes back to work.

Don't get me wrong. I love the work I do. I am blessed and grateful to be able to do what I do. But (and I can't believe I'm saying this) maybe I work too much? Is there such a thing? Yes, I guess there is.

I'm going on a trip tomorrow and, with lots of publicity work for Evolution Theatre's next show ahead of me, I started feeling massively guilty for doing anything that was for myself. Going to class or rehearsal, even eating and bathing were practically taking a back seat to what I so desperately thought "needed to be done". Like I said, I'm sick.

You know what, it did need to get done and, better yet, it did get done, but at what cost? My health? My sanity? My peace of mind? I learned a valuable lesson this week. I'm absolutely useless to anyone if I don't take care of myself first. I especially thank the folks in my Playback Theatre company for putting me back on the right track. Once I finally gave in to being at rehearsal, which was where I really wanted to be, and let go of the guilt, I suddenly got better. I was refreshed and recharged and that's why all my work got done this week.

So when my old roomate (and one of the 5% of my friends not involved in the arts - though Gruppo Rubato is trying to change that with Airport Security - check out a staged reading of it this weekend!), who is also a flight attendant, invited me to go with her to China of all places, I jumped at the chance. Yes, I really am going to China. Tomorrow. I leave tomorrow.

And I'm going to do something crazy... something drastic... something so beyond me...

I'm going to disconnect from the Matrix.

Yes, you read that right. No laptop, no iPhone, no Twitter, no Facebook, no email, no *gasp* flat iron. I'm leaving it all behind. It will just be me, my friend, and my poofy hair. As of tomorrow morning, I will be unreachable and not working... Ok, I'm going to cheat a wee bit because I'm going to be reading a book about Roller Derby but it's a NOVEL, so that's alright.

(And uh, BTW, if I'm not back in two weeks, could someone please call the Embassy in Beijing and make sure I'm not rotting in a Chinese prison somewhere... kthxbye!)

My guess is I'll be going into massive electronic withdrawal at some point over the Pacific Ocean. As long as I don't end up re-enacting the toilet scene from Trainspotting though, I should be ok.

So please go ahead and miss me. I know you will. But I'll be back refreshed, recharged and with plenty of photos to share on all sorts of new media outlets. And that? Is really, really nice.

In Loving Memory of my Friend

Yesterday morning, after a battle with cancer, my friend, Jan Murray, died peacefully in her sleep. I hadn't know Jan for a very long time. In fact, before this summer, you probably would have considered us acquaintances. All that changed when we were paired up for an intensive acting workshop this past August. That's when we started spending every single day together.

The news of her passing came as an absolute shock to me. Yes, I knew she was sick, but she had beaten it before.

This isn't the first death I've experienced in my life this year. My grandmother passed away in late January. But she was done with life. When I saw Jan, I saw a woman so full of life that, in my mind, there was no way she was nearing the end.

I remember when we started working together, Jan told me one of the first times she saw me was in the very same class we were attending and she was so impressed and inspired by my me. I was confused. She had it backwards. I had seen her work in that class (she was doing a scene from The Graduate) and I was not only impressed by her work, but inspired by her life story.

Here was a woman who had overcome so much, including a major illness, and she was glowing. Jan always glowed. She simply looked stunning.

We worked together on John Patrick Shanley's Doubt, a play that will now have a very different meaning for me. Jan was always so keen and prepared. She'd get frustrated and apologetic for not being able to remember the lines so well, even though I kept telling her it didn't matter since someone would be on book. But we'd meet every day to have tea and run lines. And we'd talk. About our lives, about her son, her volunteer work, theatre in Ottawa and yes, her illness.

I enjoyed our talks, but I'd always tune out at that last one.

It was naive, I know, but part of me, I guess, believed in this healing power of the theatre and the work we were doing. Besides, when we were performing the scenes together, there was no way you would think that woman was dying.

I'll always remember a dancing Sister Aloysius.

In an odd twist, as costume pieces, I brought in a crucifix and rosary that belonged to my grandmother. Though I am not religious, I do believe in symbols and spirituality. I have been carrying that rosary around with me wherever I go. I carry it for Jan now too.

Jan Murray is my friend. I love her and I miss her.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_tIss1OhGM]

Ara Batur (The Row Boat) by Sigur Ros

Lyric Translation

You tried everything Yes, a thousand times Experienced enough Been through enough But you it was who let everything Into my heart and you it was who once again Awoke my spirit

I parted, you parted

You stir up Emotions In a blender Everything in disarray But it was you who was always There for me It was you who never judged My true friend

I parted, you parted

You sail on rivers With an old oar Leaking badly You swim to shore Pushed the waves away But to no avail You float on the sea Sleep on the surface Light through the fog

I parted, you parted

Rewriting the Inner Monologue

Stop.Just stop it. It's over. That was then, this is now. Time to move on, carry on, pick up, get up, go. You're stronger than this. This? This is nothing. You've been through worse and you will again. But right now? Stop. Just stop it.

Breathe. Always remember to breathe.

Look. Look at you. No, seriously, look. Don't turn your head away. Open your eyes. You're beautiful, you know. Yes, you do know. But it's easy to forget sometimes. Why do you always seem to forget the good and never the bad? Stop. Just stop it.

Breathe. Always remember to breathe.

It's ok. No, really, it's ok. Be sad. Be angry. Be frustrated. Be relieved. Be. Cry like a baby. Scream, yell, curse. Take all day if you need to. But don't shut down. Don't hide. Don't pretend you are alone in this world. Because you're not. Stop. Just stop it.

Breathe. Always remember to breathe.

Feel the love. It's there. You know it's there. In and around. Your heart. Not alone. Never alone. Too much love to be alone. Joyful girl. Don't. Don't stop.

Breathe. Always remember to breathe.

My Apologies

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, my play No Exit Upstage will not be presented at UNHINGED: Kitchener's Festival of Site-Specific Theatre. I sincerely apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused.

It's Not About The Lines

The most annoying question that you could ask any actor is, without a doubt, "How did you manage to learn all those lines?" Acting isn't about learning lines. This was no clearer to me than on Thursday night when I attended the premiere of Death Rally, a short film I worked on last summer in which I have the lead. Prior to seeing the final cut of the film, I had been told by the director that they edited out most of the dialogue because it simply did not flow with the feel of the film. The movie has this great comic book look to it and by cutting out the lines between my character and her husband you get a good sense of the tension escalating between the couple.

The director was worried that this would bother me but, once I saw the film, any reservations I may have had instantly melted away. The movie is great. It's funny, gross, very well done and the lack of dialogue leaves plenty of room for body language.

I've heard actors (celebrities mostly) say that they can't watch themselves on the screen. I had no such problem. Maybe this stems from being a theatre performer. I would kill to be able to see how I'm doing on stage.

Watching, I realized that I was present and in the moment. I was listening, paying attention to my scene partner, and reacting to what he was giving me. I was doing good work, all without dialogue. In other words, I was acting. That's what it's all about; not the lines.

*************************************** I am proud to have been a part of this movie and will gladly work with Actum Imago Productions again (hint hint - hire me!). It has already had a screening at Montreal's Fantasia Film Festival and was just picked up by the Terror Film Festival in Philadelphia. There's a possibility I might even be at that screening.

In the meantime, I leave you with the trailer for Death Rally (including most lines that have been cut from the film).

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxrlRJ9i8bY]

Playback Theatre

How appropriate that during this veritable renewal of theatre in the Ottawa region, a new and different sort of theatre company should emerge. Yesterday, I participated in my second, for lack of a better word, workshop with Sanitas Playback Theatre and was invited to be a part of the company.

Playback Theatre has been around for over 30 years and yet I had never really heard about it before this summer. There are companies in almost every major city centre (like Toronto and Montreal), but this is a first for Ottawa.

According to Wikipedia (the guru of all things), "Playback Theatre is an original form of improvisational theatre in which audience or group members tell stories from their lives and watch them enacted on the spot. Playback Theatre is sometimes considered a modality of drama therapy."

I'm quite excited at the prospect of working with this new company. It involves a great mix of local professionals as well as two newcomers from Montreal who have experience in the form; one is a drama therapist, the other a musician.

For me, this is an opportunity to hone my improvisational skills, learn about a different way to produce theatre, interact on a deeper level with an audience, and witness first hand (through the sharing of stories) how theatre can actually help people.

A few gigs have already been booked for the ensemble and are coming up in the very near future. Stay tuned!

Happy Anniversary

I've got a few milestones that I would like to celebrate with all of you. First of all, it has now been ten years almost to the day that I have been a resident of fair Ottawa, by way of New Brunswick. I arrived here, 18 years old, young and naive, heart filled with big dreams, love and hope for a bright future. I've mentioned before that I've often wondered why I was still here. Life just happened a few times while I was busy making other plans, or so they say. I'm still somewhat young, less often naive and my heart always bursts with big dreams, lost of love and hope for a bright future. But I've grown. I'm definitely not the same girl I used to be. Heck, I'm not a girl anymore.

My second milestone is that it has now been exactly one year since I quit my day job to dedicate myself fully to the arts. I am by no means the first person (nor is he, but he's the first I personally know of) to do this, nor will I be the last (this guy is the most recent, I think). However, a conversation with a good friend who has also taken the plunge made me wonder how long it can possibly last?

In the past year, I've worked on my first professional show (that I did not have a hand in self-producing), helped my theatre company gain registered charity status and become an absolute mainstay in the community (I still can't believe how far we've come in four years!), discovered that I am a writer (SIDE RANT: Odd that although I have been keeping a blog for *gasp* FIVE YEARS, I didn't consider myself a writer. It's kind of cute for me to go back and reread my old, somewhat juvenile shit. If you're up for a little light cyber-stalking, feel free to check my old blog out. I can't believe I thought I knew anything. I don't. I really don't.), wrote and produced my own show which I then took on tour, took an incredible amount of classes and workshops, had a hand in writing at least two successful grant applications, had a play I wrote get presented in Singapore, traveled for my art to exotic locales like Montreal, Toronto, Winnipeg, and Kitchener-Waterloo, and a whole bunch of other stuff, I'm sure, that I just can't think of right now.

These things would not have been accomplished if I had still been working at my day job.

After a year of all that, I know, deep in my soul, that I could not go back to the 9 to 5 grind. There's something I find comforting about having no idea what day of the week it is or not finding official "holidays" very relevant because I work when I want to (which, I have to admit, is all the time - just at weird hours).

It hasn't been easy. Money has been tighter than it's ever been and I haven't been hired for real acting work in about 10 months. Sometimes I wish I could just go to the mall and buy a dress or a flat screen TV, but frankly, I don't wear dresses that often (having no office job means I don't have to own fancy clothes) and I watch TV online now, so really what would be the point? Instead, I relish the fact that I can have a drink at 11 p.m. on a Tuesday or write a grant application at 2 a.m. because that's when I feel like doing it (I told you, weird hours).

I love my life right now and I believe it will last as long as I wanted it to last.

That said, seeing how it's a Tuesday (I think), anyone want to join me for a celebratory drink tonight at 11 p.m.?

;)

Let's Talk About Birth

As some of you may already know, I'm in a play that opens Friday night (August 14th) called Birth by Karen Brody. It's a wonderful little project that has often been dubbed the "Vagina Monologues of Birth." It features myself and seven other lovely Ottawa actresses: Chantale Plante, Natasha Jetté (my partner in crime), Heather Archibald, Kate Drummond, Corinne McDonald, Miriam Westland, and Robin Guy (who organized this whole shindig and also directed the piece). The show explores the range of experiences that modern day women have as they birth their babies. All the stories are true, and are told through a combination of monologue and action; each actor tells the story of one character, but also becomes the characters in the other stories. For a great preview of the show, please check out the Ottawa Arts Newsletter.

The production is being done as a fundraiser for the International Breech Conference, which is being hosted here in Ottawa this October. For more information about the Conference and why it's so important, please visit the website.

Tickets can still be purchase in advance online or from one of the cast members. You can also buy your tickets at the door, however it's more expensive to do so (though it's for a fundraiser so maybe that's a good thing).

There are only FOUR performances - Friday, August 14th at 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, August 15th at 2:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, August 16th at 7:30 p.m. All performances take place in The Amphitheatre at St. Paul's University - 223 Main Street.

I hope to see you there!

Post-Class Ramblings

It's past midnight and I'm home from class. I'm starving but I don't want pizza, so I'm making the only thing any single gal who hasn't been grocery shopping in over three weeks can make: Pasta! Plain, no tomato sauce, pasta! Mmmmm! Finally finished all my grant writing today for both Evolution Theatre and my upcoming Roller Derby show. It is such a huge relief to have that off my shoulders. I can now fully focus on Birth and my class with Michele Lonsdale Smith from Vancouver.

I feel so blessed and grateful to be taking this class. I'm not just learning about acting, I'm learning to be a better human being. I wish everyone could see, feel, learn what I learn in these classes. I've been studying with her for almost four years now and I know that I would not be the person I am today if it wasn't for those classes. If you are in the Ottawa area and are interested in auditing a class, here's the event info, including how you can apply to audit.

I'm going to be working on a scene from Doubt with an absolutely lovely partner and I know we're going to have a lot of fun with it. I do, however, still need to find an outfit. I'm currently looking for a long black skirt, black shoes and a habit headpiece. Please message me below if you can help!

I am happy. I am exactly where I know I should be right now and for the first time ever I'm not scared to do the work. I'm actually thrilled to do it!

My heart is filled with so much love for everyone. If you are reading this, I love you very much and, even if we haven't met, I think you are beautiful and strong. You can accomplish everything you put your mind to. The only thing standing in your way is you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my water is boiling.

Withdrawal (Part Deux)

When you avoid dealing with your current situation, when you try to push it off until later, when you just won't see what's right in front of your eyes, it always comes back to haunt you with a vengeance. Exactly one month ago, I talked about actor withdrawal. I mentioned that one way some people deal with the "Withdrawal Effect" is by immediately jumping into another project. I decided to use this tactic now that the Winnipeg Fringe Festival has come to a close.

As soon, as I came back from the Peg, I had an audition lined-up, rehearsals for Birth (which goes up in less than two weeks), background work on a local film set, grant applications, plays to watch and a few classes to take. I was going to keep busy, I was not going to go into withdrawal.

Unfortunately, my body disagreed with me. It heartily believes that I need to go through this.

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. I'm sun burnt, bug-bitten, breaking out, and tired. My nose is stuffed up, my eyes are runny, and my throat hurts. I'm coughing, sneezing, and generally feel achy all over. I was going to avoid it some more because I had a very full day ahead of me but, piece by piece, things got either canceled or postponed.

The Universe is trying to tell me something along the lines of: "Hey Nancy! Chill. Relax. Chillax even. Sit down and grieve the fact that your amazing, awesome, stupendous adventure is over. If you do this for me, I promise you, the next one will be even better. But if you don't, then I'll just make you sick. Some more. Love always, The Universe."

Easy choice, no?

Friendly Manitoba (or a License Plate Never Lies)

We were up at 3:30 a.m. I'm used to going to bed at that time, not waking up to it, but it was well worth it. Everything was beyond perfect. The weather was gorgeous. The cabby was incredibly friendly and on time. The airline overlooked the fact that Natasha's bag with the set pieces was "overweight". Since the flight was somewhat empty and we were flying with Air Canada staff, we got upgraded to business class! I've never flown business class before. I'm not sure why you'd pay that much extra for a cup holder (which ok, the cup holder made me incredibly giddy) and some free food, but I'll definitely take it if it's free.

Our billet was kind enough to come pick us up at the airport (now 8 a.m. Manitoba time) and this is where everything just kept getting better and better. He gave us a quick drive-by tour of downtown Winnipeg and we got a quick peek at our future venue (among others). Then he showed us around his neighbourhood, offering us bicycles and even the use of his second vehicle if we needed to get around. We arrived at his beautiful home and were directed to the newly renovated basement where we would be staying. It's huge and includes a private bathroom, laundry facilities, television, mini-fridge and a bar... Seriously? After hearing many a horror story about billets from some other Fringe veterans, I just couldn't believe our luck.

We spent the rest of the day getting groceries, napping and enjoying the sun. Everyone smiled at us and would say hello wherever we went. We started joking that it must be some kind of law to be kind to strangers... then we noticed the license plates. Yesterday was incredibly relaxing and I knew we needed it before the festival kicked it into high gear. Things in Winnipeg are definitely looking good.

Nancy's MUST SEE List at the Winnipeg Fringe

Many of you probably remember my MUST SEE List for the Ottawa Fringe Festival. It was, after all, one of my top posts in June. I figured it would be nice to do the same thing for the Winnipeg Fringe. Now, this list won't be as extensive as the Ottawa one for the following reasons: 1) I don't have a VIP pass in Winnipeg which means seeing lots of shows could potentially become an expensive endeavor; 2) If I saw your show at this year's Ottawa Fringe, I probably won't see it again in Winnipeg; 3) I don't know as many companies and their work in Winnipeg - new shows will probably be added to my list, but I might not blog about them all; 4) I'm in a new city and will need to spend a lot of my time promoting my own show.

Speaking of which, if you happen to be in Winnipeg (or know people who will be) between July 16 to 26, 2009, you should definitely come out and see No Exit Upstage. Buy your tickets in advance by clicking the link in order to guarantee a spot!

Why should you see my show? Well, here are some amazing reviews from the Ottawa Fringe to wet your whistle.

Alright, now on to my list, in alphabetical order:

52 Pick Up I saw this show quite a few years ago in Ottawa when it was done by super couple Natalie Joy Quesnel and Stewart Matthews. This time it is performed by the amazing Gemma Wilcox, whose one-woman shows have always been ahit. It is written by Fringe God, TJ Dawe, and the description really says it all - "52 cards. 52 scenes about a relationship. Two actors shuffle, throw, pick up and play all 52 scenes. NO TWO SHOWS THE SAME!" If it's in all caps, you know they are serious. It's a very fun show and I can't wait to see it again... sort of. CRUMBS again for the first time I saw these guys when I was in Toronto for the COMBUSTION festival. They were impressive to watch. A very tight and dynamic improv experience. Plus, like most good improv, it takes place in a bar.

Fall Fair Boat Load was hands down my favorite show at the Ottawa Fringe Festival last year. Jayson McDonald (creator of the Big Comedy Go-To) wasn't in Ottawa this year since it overlapped with the London Fringe Festival, so I'm looking forward to seeing his new offering in Winnipeg.

Jake's Gift Ok, I'm cheating a bit because I did recently see this in Ottawa during the Magnetic North Theatre Festival. However, Jake's Gift represents everything I adore about performance: a compelling story created with love and passion, told through very simple and truthful means. Frankly, it was the only show during the MNTF that I absolutely adored and I would see it again. Scratch that. I will see it again and I'm bringing friends. Spiral Dive: Episode Two Spiral Dive: Episode One was a beautiful show I had the privilege of seeing in Ottawa. It even won an award for Outstanding Drama. I look forward to checking out the second installment of the trilogy in Winnipeg. It may be difficult however, since rumour has it they have already sold out all their advance tickets for the production.

So there are my top 5 picks for the Winnipeg Fringe Festival. Feel free to check out the full show list and let me know what you would see.

Withdrawal

There's a well-known feeling that occurs amongst theatre practitioners once a production comes to an end. Some consider it a grieving process, I think of it more like going into withdrawal (mostly because I am a theatre-addict... a theaddict?). Since I hadn't been involved in a production for quite some time, I had completely forgotten the withdrawal effect. Symptoms manifest themselves in a variety of ways. In my case, I've been feeling lost, cranky, bloated (to the point where I'm almost certain I must have regained all the weight I lost throughout the festival), and incredibly sad... Actually, I guess withdrawal is a lot like PMS. Great. Like I need to go through that twice a month now.

I'm not exactly sure what happened to me over the past four days (has it really been four days?). I know it involved a pool, the mall, a social gathering or two, and my apartment is practically spotless so I guess it also included cleaning... I feel like I've been in a daze, as if the past few days happened to someone else.

It is very difficult to combat the effects of withdrawal. Many performers immediately jump into another project in order to avoid or postpone the inevitable. Since I'm not in Winnipeg until late next week, I unfortunately do not have that luxury. I also needed to distance myself a bit from the script in order to be able to tackle it with fresh eyes.

Tonight, after a great evening teaching an adult acting course, was the first time I felt the fog lift a little. I felt artistically productive and it was good. Tomorrow, I'm meeting a friend for breakfast and going to work out. I feel like my body needs to move and be active again. Resting is great every once in a while, but I was meant for the stage.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqa9V8Ox5Qo]

No Exit Upstage Reviews

Well, after three solid performances, the reviews for No Exit Upstage have started pouring in and I'm thrilled to say they are all very positive! First up we have Patrick Langston from the Ottawa Citizen who calls it a "funny show" and "we find ourselves drawn to these two characters". You can read the whole review here.

Wayne Current at (Cult)ure magazine says it's a "solid script with many funny moments, has "compelling actors," and "Ken Godmere’s direction is also solid, especially his effective use of the stage. One scene in particular – where both characters are speaking in a simultaneous monologue – is quite powerful. It’s a beautiful piece of poetry inserted into the performance, and the play is worth seeing for that moment alone." You can read his entire review (which I am gleeful to note includes a link to my blog!) here.

There's also a charming review topically done through a split personality interview between Brian Carroll and himself on the Ottawa Fringe Festival website which includes this gem: "So why don’t more directors cast Nancy?" - His review can be seen here.

Finally, some Adorkable Thespian left a comment saying "It’s weird. It’s funny. It’s worth seeing." Thank you, whomever you are! You can read his (or her) comments here.

Only three more shows are left for No Exit Upstage! Our next performance is Wednesday, June 24 at 6:30 p.m.

******************************* I've been cleaning my apartment all day since my billets, the comedy group Uncalled For from Montreal, arrive tomorrow. Unfortunately I will not be around to great them since I will be in Toronto for an audition.

Can I just say how much I love my life right now?

Silencing the Inner Critic

I see a lot of theatre. Seriously, a ridiculous amount. I average about 4 shows a week. (The incredible thing about this news means that you CAN see 4 shows a week in Ottawa!) Like anything, these are not necessarily 4 good shows a week. In fact, most of the time, they're not. I hate a lot of the stuff I see. OK, maybe hate is a bit too strong a word... I'm disappointed by a lot of the stuff I see. You might be thinking then why keep going? Well, every once in a while I see something absolutely spectacular and/or moving. It kind of feels like meeting your soul mate, briefly, at a party and then spending the rest of your life looking for them again. You just know they're out there somewhere.

Anyway, all this to say I know what I think is good and I know what I think is shitty. Unfortunately, that (very loud) critic's voice inside my head often likes to come out to play when I'm creating a show. This is bad! Very bad! Because that critic likes to forget where I currently am at in my development as an artist (and I'd like to rephrase a previous post from the negative sounding I Have Limits to the much nicer Where I Am in my Development as an Artist). You see, it likes to tell me how great a show like Tempting Providence was without mentioning little unimportant details like it's been around for 7 years and played over 400 performances. Talk about putting too much pressure on yourself.

Last night we opened No Exit Upstage to a very full house and instead of feeling "Wow, I did it. I wrote a play, produced it, and presented it in front of a large audience. That is amazing! Way to go me!" I was thinking "Oh my God, I was shaking, I missed a blocking cue, wah wah wah! Nobody talk to me, I need a drink!"

And yet, when I stopped avoiding eye contact with everyone because "I suck so much", all I received were incredibly positive and glowing recommendations, including this very touching one this morning on Facebook from this guy, who I think is kind of a big deal and should know what he is talking about: "Pierre Brault was very impressed with Nancy Kenny's show, "No Exit Upstage" at the Ottawa fringe. Smartly written. Well performed. Go see it. More fringing tonight!"

I should really take the advice in this article more to heart.

So thank you everyone who came out to see the show. I can't believe 8 of you actually bought advanced tickets! I am grateful and truly blessed for your support and encouragement and I look forward to entertaining you throughout at least 5 more shows.

If you haven't seen No Exit Upstage yet, well what are you waiting for?

****************************** No Exit Upstage Directed by Ken Godmere Staring Nancy Kenny & Natasha Jetté

The Ottawa Fringe Festival runs from June 18 to 28, 2009.

All No Exit Upstage performances take place in Venue #3 – Studio Leonard Beaulne Thursday June 18 – 9:30 PM (2 for 1 performance) Saturday June 20 – 11:00 PM Sunday June 21 – 2:00 PM Wednesday June 24 – 6:30 PM Saturday June 27 – 8:00 PM Sunday June 28 – 3:30 PM

Tickets are $10 and can be purchased at the door. You also need the $2 Fringe Pin to get in to all performances. Advanced tickets and discounted multi-show Fringe passes are also available.

Nancy's MUST SEE List at the Ottawa Fringe

Lots of lists are popping up all over the place on what you absolutely should see at the Ottawa Fringe Festival. Having been around the Fringe for a while now, I also know what I absolutely cannot miss. Since I expect to see approximately 40 shows this year (a new personal best, beating my lousy 21, albeit while performing in 12 shows, from last year), please don't be offended if you are not on my "Must See" list. Chances are I will probably be seeing your show, but I just don't have enough time to talk about them all. Well, first up, the cheap plug. You should definitely see No Exit Upstage. In fact, I suggest you see it twice. It's very layered so you're sure to discover something new each time ;)

Ok, on to the list. First up, the LOCALS. I always make it a habit each year to see as many local productions as I can. These are, after all, the people I will most likely be working with in the future (if I haven't already) and so it's good to know what they are doing.

OREO Nadine Thornhill is one of the smartest and funniest writers I know. Some kind of Norm Foster meets Gilmore Girls. She also won last year's Best in Venue award for her play The Wedding Night, so you know she can bring the goods.

...Comes Around An all-star team of Ottawa's best and brightest artists with more award wins and nominations among them than there are people in the cast. Plus, explicit sexuality! They have two 11 p.m. time slots for all us skeevy pervs in the audience. Guess when I'll be in attendance?

Une nuit arabe The only French play at the festival and one that Evolution Theatre will be mounting in October (in English). I am very curious to see how they will be doing it in the tiny and workout inducing Studio 311.

Inclement Weather and Country Shaped Like Stars At the very least see one of them, but preferably see both. Emily Pearlman and Nick Di Gaetano are hands-down the most interesting and creative artists working in Ottawa today. I am in absolute awe when in their presence and still find it incredible they let me hang around. Both these shows fall under their new !MI CASA! banner. I expect lots of amazing things in the future from them both so I figure it best to get in on the ground floor now. Oh and in my book, Miss Pearlman gets 5 stars for every show.

The Squatter Heart By Annie Lefebvre / Directed by Andy Massingham Her preview performance at the Festival Tent last night sold this one for me. A beautiful poetic movement piece. Annie was simply stunning. I can't wait to see more!

The Beer Tent It doesn't take place at the tent, but in the Royal Oak basement on Laurier. I think I get a shout-out in the show. I want to go check. I'm vain like that. We Never Clothed Boobies. Kate Smith. I think there's a musical number too. But mostly I'm going for the boobies.

Now, for the OUT OF TOWNERS!

Like a Virgin I saw Jimmy Hogg's show in London a few months ago and you can read the review here. It was great and I will be going back to see how it's come along since then.

On Second Thought Another performer I saw a few months ago and you can read my thoughts on him here. His festival preview last night included a strip tease to MmmmBop, just to give you an idea what you're in for.

Is Shakespeare's Dead? I am not proud to say that in the seven years I've been at the Ottawa Fringe Festival, and in the seven years he's been there, I have never seen a Keir Cutler show. I plan on fixing that this year. Grandpa Sol and Grandma Rosie Watch this video and tell me it does not make you want to see this show?

Ok, so I was trying to keep this list at 10, but Annie Lefebvre made it impossible to do so.

Happy Fringing!

Nancy Kenny's No Exit Upstage, opens with a 2-for-1 admission price Thursday, June 18 at 9:30 pm and plays in Venue #3 - Studio Leonard-Beaulne.

Chill Out, Virginia, It Can Be This Easy

I woke up a little earlier than 5:00 a.m. with the sun barely creeping through my blinds. I was ok with that since I was going to head out for some early morning yoga, but I couldn't figure out if I had slept. If I did sleep, I spent the entire night dreaming about THE SHOW and my tossing and turning was based on all of my blocking, or I didn't sleep and I just thought about the show all night... Ah well, being up that early reminded me that I needed to do laundry, since my costume top was in the basket and we were teching at 9:30 a.m. I also filled out an application for what will surely be another cool festival for No Exit Upstage in September. Yes, the application deadline is way beyond past, but the fine folks in Kitchener-Waterloo have been kind enough to grant me one massive extension.

All in all, with the working out and an impromptu coffee meeting with theatre friends post-yoga, I had a very productive morning before heading out to our venue in Studio Leonard Beaulne on the University of Ottawa campus.

The reality of the situation finally hit me when I got there. We open in LESS THAN TWO DAYS! While on the bus my director/stage manager called to say his own bus hadn't shown up and he would be late. I arrived at the venue and couldn't find either the technician or my fellow actor. I wanted to panic! Where was the Fringe office phone number? Where was everyone? What the hell is going on!?!

Then I looked at my phone. It wasn't even 9:30 yet...

Needless to say, everyone arrived and things went as smoothly as they possibly could. I worried a bit, some more, that I wouldn't be able to get the timing for some of my cues, but we just kept working them until we got it right. I also had to keep telling myself that a cue-to-cue was not a place to be worried about character development. An excellent technical rehearsal later (Vincent is awesome!), we were having lunch on the grass before tidying up a few bits of the story arc. It was wonderful. Post-rehearsal I went to tape up posters around the venues.

Two days before opening and I am confident we have a solid show. It is an incredibly uplifting feeling to know that we won't simply be running on adrenaline to pull this all together. I can't thank the gang enough for making my life so incredibly easy. I sincerely hope to see you all out there throughout the run!

Nancy Kenny's No Exit Upstage, opens with a 2-for-1 admission price Thursday, June 18 at 9:30 pm and plays in Venue #3 - Studio Leonard-Beaulne.

*************************

As an added bonus, while we were finishing up our rehearsal, I received a call from Theatre New Brunswick. I guess I haven't simply been killing trees after all! I'll be heading to Toronto on June 23rd (a day we are not schedule to perform on - thank you Universe!) to audition for their TYA Touring Company.

So You Want To Produce A Fringe Show? Money Saving Tips

I unfortunately did not get selected to be one of the frequent bloggers throughout the Ottawa Fringe (though some other cool people were), but I figured that does not stop me from commenting on my own site (and perhaps showing a certain someone that he totally should have picked me! :p). An article this morning in the Ottawa Citizen (with quotes from yours truly) gave me the perfect amount of motivation to elaborate on a related topic that's been running through my head: How to afford your Fringe Festival Experience.

So you want to produce a Fringe show? Congratulations! You've now joined the ranks of the awesome. For those of you out there who want to self-produce, the Fringe offers one of the most safe and inexpensive opportunities to do so. That said, just because it is inexpensive does not mean that it is cheap. There are a lot of upfront costs that need to be factored before the ticket sales (often your only source of revenue) come pouring in.

First up, the main expense that you simply cannot avoid: the Fringe Festival fee. This can range anywhere from $500 to $800 per festival and are due at various times at the end of the year (between September to January in the year prior to the festival). This gets you your venue, box office staff, technical personnel, and fringe publicity. However, having this money up front does not guarantee you a spot in your festival since the selection process is by lottery. If you don't get in, you can still participate if you Bring Your Own Venue (BYOV), but on top of the festival fee, you'd also have to rent a venue and pay for your own technical staff.

Now, let's say you were lucky and won a spot through the lottery. How else can you save money? Well, my first suggestion would be to write your own show. Through producing with Evolution Theatre, I have found that our largest expenses come in the form of venue rentals and playwrights royalties.

Second, keep it small. I'm not saying you will make a lot (if any money) off of the Fringe, but the least number of hands you have in your pie the less cherries you have to hand out... or something like that. It also helps if everyone wears many hats (because frankly hats are cool). I'm the producer, the writer, an actor in the show and I handle all our media efforts. My director is also the stage manager, the production designer, and has done an awful lot to help me dramaturgically. My fellow actor handles all our design work and our company website. Oh and we also managed to get her photographer husband to do some awesome publicity photos.

Third, and I'm not sure I even need to mention this, but get everything you can for free. All rehearsals for my show have taken place in my living room. It helps that I have no furniture. The majority of our set pieces belong to Natasha, but for the rest we've discovered that many big box stores have customer satisfaction policies... What I'm basically saying is buy, don't break, return, travel to your next touring destination (which, would you look at that, also has the same big box store with the same customer satisfaction policy), and repeat. Just don't lose the receipt, ok? Also, Value Village and the Dollar Store are your best friends.

Fourth, traveling your show will probably take up the biggest chunk of your budget. Fortunately, most Fringe cities will help you find a billet to accommodate you for free throughout the festival. You have no clue where you might end up, but at least you didn't have to pay for it. I can't really assist you with cheap ways to travel since it depends on the destination, but I can tell you it helps if your old roommate (the one who still likes you) works for any of the major aviation organizations in the country.

Fifth, try and budget how much money you are going to spend on other people's shows at the Fringe. A lot of touring companies work on a password system and may be willing to exchange complimentary tickets to their show if you offer them some to yours. I know that I, especially if I happen to be in one of the bigger venues at the festival, prefer having bums in seats rather than play to a half-empty house. Or you can decide to billet a fellow performer and receive a VIP pass which gives you access to all the shows. Now that the set is finally moved out of my living room, I am more than happy to offer someone my pull-out couch. Besides, this way I get to meet like-minded individuals from across the country.

Finally (and this is a tough one for me), when the money actually does start coming in, try not to spend it all at the beer tent on hookers and beer... wait, what? What do you mean the Ottawa Fringe Festival didn't get the hookers this year? Oh fer cryin' out loud! Sigh... alright, well don't spend all your money on beer at the beer tent. Though spending money on this Beer Tent is quite acceptable.

If you have any other money saving tips that I have not elaborated on here, please feel free to leave them in the comment section. See you at the Fringe!

Nancy Kenny's No Exit Upstage, opens with a 2-for-1 admission price Thursday, June 18 at 9:30 pm and plays in Venue #3 - Studio Leonard-Beaulne.