The Joys of Being a Working Actor

Patron: Excuse me, but aren't you an actress? Me: Why yes I am!

Patron: Oh you were in the last show we saw here!  You were very good!  Honey, she was in the play we saw here last time.

Patron's Husband: Wow, you were very good!  That was a good show! 

Me: Thank you!   (insert awkward pause here)   May I show you to your seat?

Patron's Husband:  Yes, please.  Tell me, how do you learn ALL those lines?


Patron 2: Excuse me, but how do I know you?

Me: Um, I think we auditioned together not too long ago.

Patron 2: Oh right!  That's where I saw you.  Mom, she auditioned too!  You were great!

Me: Oh thanks!  (insert awkward pause here)    May I check your coat?


Patron 3:  Heeeeeeeeey!  Weren't you in that show I saw here last time?

Me: Yes, I was.

Patron 3: That was great!  Just great!

Me: Thank you!

Patron 3:  I'll have two coffees and a glass of wine, please.