I've been so stupid tired in the last few days, my blogging has fallen off the map, so get ready for an influx of posts in the next little while. And why, you might be thinking, would I be feeling so tired? Although you might not be thinking that. Maybe you're thinking "should I have another coffee right now" to which I would respond, yes. You should always have another coffee right now. Anyway, on Monday night, I caught the train from Toronto for a busy Tuesday in Ottawa. It started out with a meeting with my Mary M director (PRO-TIP: if you want to schedule a meeting with your director, just crash at his house), a French theatre audition, lunch and chat with my dear friend and former Evolution Theatre partner, picking up my tax information, audition prep for another French theatre audition in Toronto the next day, dinner with my director and his beautiful partner, and finally a show - Jayson McDonald's Giant Invisible Robot. (more on that in my next post, but trust me, just go see it)
I felt good about my day. The audition was one of those amazing group ones that last about two hours; where you just get to play with a bunch of strangers and create something beautiful. It's a testament to the Artistic Director that brought us all together that within the first 15 minutes strangers quickly became trusting friends and coworkers. I love those types of situations because they are incredibly fun and leave you with such a high.
In the evening, by the time the show was over, I was ready for drinks, even though I knew that I had a train to catch at 5:30 a.m. the next day. Why so early? Because I wanted to be back in time for work and I had another audition to get to in the afternoon. But a little devil on my shoulder started telling me I should postpone the trip to a later one, maybe call in sick to work, stay out, sleep in, HAVE FUN! And to tell you the truth, I was tempted. Oh so very tempted. Because let's be honest, what are my odds of booking this gig in TO anyway? But the later trains were sold out and, no matter how freaked out I was about the audition, I had done all this prep work for it and didn't want to miss it.
So I did what any responsible grown-up would do in this situation: I drank like a fish, closed the bar and then stayed up all night before heading directly to the train station... Ugh.
Ok. Let's be honest. I am not the best example to follow. (Won't somebody please think of the children?) But I knew what I was doing and I did not give up along the way. I dozed as best I could on the train, showed up for work and did my job. Well, I might add. (Though special shout-out to my roommate for dropping by with some life-saving acetaminophen.) Then I went to my audition and knocked it out of the fucking park. My body knows, because I've done this before, that the show must go on. Something always clicks inside me when I have to get something done, something that makes sickness and hangovers disappear until I am able to deal with them. Maybe that's my Mutant Superpower?
It was hard, it was painful, and I am getting too old for this shit, but I pulled it off, crashing into bed somewhere around 8 p.m.
Years ago, I was at a Leadership Camp where you had conferences and events during the day and big ass parties at night. During the very first session, someone said something to me that I will never forget: You're only allowed to play as hard as you are ready to work. I'd add to that, you are only allowed to play hard if you are ready to work even harder.
It's too important. This career is my love and people are counting on me. I'm not ready to throw that all away for a few nights of fun.