Can I just make it stop for a second? Not forever, but just a little bit. Just stop everything. The bills, the responsibilities, the whole world, the unknown. Can I just take a little break from it all and pretend it doesn't exist? On Friday, during a particularly long (yet rewarding) day on set where I got to be Elisabeth Shue's stand-in and, during scenes where she was on the phone, I got to read the other side of the conversation from off-camera. (Where my thought process totally went "Who me? What? Oh yeah! I'm totally ready!" *Trip over a chair and drop my sides* followed by an onslaught of self-doubt and "OMG! I am giving the world's crappiest read! She must think I am such a shitty actor!" But of course, all of that happened in my head. Except for the tripping part.) I got a nice thank you from the first assistant director after it was all done thanking me for stepping up to the plate. It was very cool and almost made this stupid cold that suddenly took hold of me during the evening worth it.
Yeah, I got sick and I've pretty much been hiding in my apartment ever since, trying to get over it. And you know what? I liked it. I like hiding out at home, watching marathon sessions of Lost, snuggling under the covers with a box of Kleenex, a cup of tea and a giant furball named Winston. It's cozy in here. It's safe. I don't want to go back out there and work, dammit! I don't want to worry about bills or people or where my next meal is going to come from. It's scary out there! I don't know what I'll be doing after September 4th.
What a ridiculous statement. Technically, I don't know what I'll be doing tomorrow or two hours from now. I have a general idea, but you know life happens when you're making other plans...
So yeah, can I just stop it all right now? Just for a little bit?
Ok. Well, I guess I better get dressed then.